Question :
I HAVE TRIED MY WHOLE LIFE TO CHANGE MYSELF; BUT IT SEEMS NOTHING EVER CHANGES - I REMAIN THE SAME. IS NOT THERE ANY HOPE FOR ME?
Answer :
IN THE FIRST PLACE why do you want to change yourself?
You are beautiful as you are - why can't you accept yourself? And the miracle is: when you accept yourself, the change happens. It can't happen by your effort, because WHO will change you? The
same mind trying to change itself? The violent mind trying to be non violent? How is it going to happen? Even in being non-violent there will remain violence.
The angry mind trying not to be in anger? You can manage, you can cultivate a hardness around you. You can repress the anger, but it is the same mind - anger is there. You are sitting on top of it; you are sitting on a volcano.
The stupid mind trying to be intelligent? In the very effort, stupidity will become more and more ingrained....
Then what is the way out? The way out is acceptance - acceptance is a magic key. Accept yourself as you are! And in that acceptance, intelligence arises. In that acceptance, why does intelligence arise? Because whenever you accept, you are no more divided; the split disappears. The split is between you and the should, between you and the ought. That is where the whole secret of schizophrenia is rooted: "I am this and I have to be that."
So now there are only two things: either drive yourself crazy in becoming that... and it will be just like a dog trying to catch its own tail, or like pulling yourself up by your own shoestrings. You can hop a little, jump a little, but that will not do much. That's what your so-called religious people go on doing: hopping, pulling themselves up by their own shoe-strings. For a moment they are a little higher than the earth, but back they come - and with a bang.
This is not the way. The split will become even deeper. The more you try, the more you will fail. And the more you fail, the more you will lose your self-confidence, your respect for yourself - in drugs, in alcohol, in this and that, in power politics, in money, in the marketplace... and people have invented a thousand and one ways to escape from themselves. And they have to invent them because they have created an ugly idea of themselves. To tell them "Know thyself!" is to shock them. They don't want to know themselves.
So people like Socrates go on saying "Know thyself" - nobody hears, nobody listens. Nobody wants to know himself - because you have already decided that you are a nauseous being, that you are sick, that you are ugly, abnormal, that all kinds of pus and wounds are there inside you. Who wants to go there? It is better not to look at those wounds; forget all about them.
And if you try to change, what will you do? You will prune this branch, that branch. And the problem is in the roots, not in the branches. If you prune a tree, the tree will become thicker . It will have better foliage; more leaves will grow, because the tree will take the challenge. You want to destroy the tree? You cut one leaf: three leaves will come - that is the answer of the tree. Cut one branch:
three branches replace it. The tree cannot so easily be defeated. It has to survive. And you can go on cutting the leaves and branches - nothing will happen. Deep down you will remain the same, because the ROOTS are intact.
The Japanese was a long-time customer at this Greek restaurant because he had discovered that they made especially tasty fried rice. Each evening he would come in he would order flied lice.
This always caused the Greek restaurant owner to nearly roll on the floor with laughter. Sometimes he would have two or three friends stand nearby just to hear the Japanese customer order his 'flied lice'.
Eventually, the customer's pride was so hurt that he took a special diction lesson just to be able to say 'fried rice' correctly.
The next time he went to the restaurant he said very plainly, "Fried rice, please."
Unable to believe his ears, the Greek restaurant owner said, Sir, would you repeat that?"
The Japanese replied, "You heard what I said, you flucking Gleek!"
This is not the way to change. You can change one word, but deep down you are still Japanese. It will assert itself from somewhere else. Either you will go crazy or you will become a hypocrite. Your society, you insane society, only leaves two alternatives for you: either go crazy trying to improve upon yourself, pulling yourself up by your shoestrings; or if you are a little more intelligent, be a hypocrite, pretend say one thing, do just the opposite - keep a back door to your life. On the front door have a beautiful facade - paint the should, the ideal, the ought - and live from the back door, live really naturally from the back door.
But that too creates a split: you can never be at ease, you are constantly Lying, and you will be caught again and again. How long can you pretend? And you cannot succeed in pretensions because your neighbours are also pretending. So everybody knows everybody else. They know they have back doors so they know that you must be having them.
That's why whenever you hear something wrong about somebody else, you IMMEDIATELY believe it: you don't ask for proof. Whenever you hear something good about somebody else, you ask for proof. If somebody says, "That saint is bogus; he is not really a saint. In fact, he is a murderer, a debauchee, greedy, violent," you immediately believe it! And if somebody says, "That man is really a saint," you have a suspicion. You say, "I will see. We will have to look into it; I will have to inquire."
You know men and how people are - how can you believe so easily that people can be good? You know your goodness is false - that gives you the idea that everybody else's goodness is bound to be false. This whole society consists of hypocrites.
Please stop improving upon yourself, stop changing yourself. And how are you going to change and for what? And who is going to decide what you should be? If you allow somebody else to decide who you should be, it will be an imposition from outside. The priest, the politician, they are trying to impose some ideals on you. And because of those ideals, you cannot be natural, you cannot be simple; you have to carry heavy weights on you. And you are always unnatural, arbitrary, artificial.
You cannot imitate anybody else!
Thomas a Kempis' famous book is IMITATION OF CHRIST - but I have never come across more false a title and more ugly a title. IMITATION OF CHRIST? And the book is respected very much; it is one of the most respected Christian treatises. But the who!e idea is wrong. If you imitate Christ, you will be an imitator only - you will never be a Christ. And to be an imitator is to be a hypocrite.
How can you imitate Christ? He was a totally different man. He never imitated anybody. If he had imitated he would have been loved and respected by the Jews; if he had imitated Moses or Abraham, he would not have been crucified. He NEVER imitated anybody! He simply asserted himself as he was; he respected himself as God had made him - without any imitation. He was an original man, not a carbon copy.
Now, Thomas a Kempis will be a carbon copy; if he succeeds at all, then too he will be a carbon copy - and a carbon copy is ugly. Be the original. When you can be the original, why should you be the carbon copy? Don't imitate Buddha, don't imitate Jesus, don't imitate me - never imitate anybody!
Learn from everywhere, but never imitate. Just be yourself. You have to be only yourself. And there is no way to know who you are beforehand. How will you decide who you are? Unless you go in and see who you are.
So the first thing is not the effort to change - the first thing is the effort to acquaint yourself with your own being: who is residing in you? Look at this guest who has come to you. Your body is a host...
some stranger is residing in the body, some stranger from the beyond has descended in the body.
That is you! Just look, watch, meditate, be aware of it. Drop ALL efforts to change yourself! Put your whole energy into knowing yourself, and out of that knowing comes growth. And that growth will bring your original face. You have to be only yourself. You have to be only that which you already are.
From : Osho Book - Philosophia Perennis Vol-1.
Feel free to Share.
I HAVE TRIED MY WHOLE LIFE TO CHANGE MYSELF; BUT IT SEEMS NOTHING EVER CHANGES - I REMAIN THE SAME. IS NOT THERE ANY HOPE FOR ME?
IN THE FIRST PLACE why do you want to change yourself?
You are beautiful as you are - why can't you accept yourself? And the miracle is: when you accept yourself, the change happens. It can't happen by your effort, because WHO will change you? The
same mind trying to change itself? The violent mind trying to be non violent? How is it going to happen? Even in being non-violent there will remain violence.
The angry mind trying not to be in anger? You can manage, you can cultivate a hardness around you. You can repress the anger, but it is the same mind - anger is there. You are sitting on top of it; you are sitting on a volcano.
The stupid mind trying to be intelligent? In the very effort, stupidity will become more and more ingrained....
Then what is the way out? The way out is acceptance - acceptance is a magic key. Accept yourself as you are! And in that acceptance, intelligence arises. In that acceptance, why does intelligence arise? Because whenever you accept, you are no more divided; the split disappears. The split is between you and the should, between you and the ought. That is where the whole secret of schizophrenia is rooted: "I am this and I have to be that."
So now there are only two things: either drive yourself crazy in becoming that... and it will be just like a dog trying to catch its own tail, or like pulling yourself up by your own shoestrings. You can hop a little, jump a little, but that will not do much. That's what your so-called religious people go on doing: hopping, pulling themselves up by their own shoe-strings. For a moment they are a little higher than the earth, but back they come - and with a bang.
This is not the way. The split will become even deeper. The more you try, the more you will fail. And the more you fail, the more you will lose your self-confidence, your respect for yourself - in drugs, in alcohol, in this and that, in power politics, in money, in the marketplace... and people have invented a thousand and one ways to escape from themselves. And they have to invent them because they have created an ugly idea of themselves. To tell them "Know thyself!" is to shock them. They don't want to know themselves.
So people like Socrates go on saying "Know thyself" - nobody hears, nobody listens. Nobody wants to know himself - because you have already decided that you are a nauseous being, that you are sick, that you are ugly, abnormal, that all kinds of pus and wounds are there inside you. Who wants to go there? It is better not to look at those wounds; forget all about them.
And if you try to change, what will you do? You will prune this branch, that branch. And the problem is in the roots, not in the branches. If you prune a tree, the tree will become thicker . It will have better foliage; more leaves will grow, because the tree will take the challenge. You want to destroy the tree? You cut one leaf: three leaves will come - that is the answer of the tree. Cut one branch:
three branches replace it. The tree cannot so easily be defeated. It has to survive. And you can go on cutting the leaves and branches - nothing will happen. Deep down you will remain the same, because the ROOTS are intact.
The Japanese was a long-time customer at this Greek restaurant because he had discovered that they made especially tasty fried rice. Each evening he would come in he would order flied lice.
This always caused the Greek restaurant owner to nearly roll on the floor with laughter. Sometimes he would have two or three friends stand nearby just to hear the Japanese customer order his 'flied lice'.
Eventually, the customer's pride was so hurt that he took a special diction lesson just to be able to say 'fried rice' correctly.
The next time he went to the restaurant he said very plainly, "Fried rice, please."
Unable to believe his ears, the Greek restaurant owner said, Sir, would you repeat that?"
The Japanese replied, "You heard what I said, you flucking Gleek!"
This is not the way to change. You can change one word, but deep down you are still Japanese. It will assert itself from somewhere else. Either you will go crazy or you will become a hypocrite. Your society, you insane society, only leaves two alternatives for you: either go crazy trying to improve upon yourself, pulling yourself up by your shoestrings; or if you are a little more intelligent, be a hypocrite, pretend say one thing, do just the opposite - keep a back door to your life. On the front door have a beautiful facade - paint the should, the ideal, the ought - and live from the back door, live really naturally from the back door.
But that too creates a split: you can never be at ease, you are constantly Lying, and you will be caught again and again. How long can you pretend? And you cannot succeed in pretensions because your neighbours are also pretending. So everybody knows everybody else. They know they have back doors so they know that you must be having them.
That's why whenever you hear something wrong about somebody else, you IMMEDIATELY believe it: you don't ask for proof. Whenever you hear something good about somebody else, you ask for proof. If somebody says, "That saint is bogus; he is not really a saint. In fact, he is a murderer, a debauchee, greedy, violent," you immediately believe it! And if somebody says, "That man is really a saint," you have a suspicion. You say, "I will see. We will have to look into it; I will have to inquire."
You know men and how people are - how can you believe so easily that people can be good? You know your goodness is false - that gives you the idea that everybody else's goodness is bound to be false. This whole society consists of hypocrites.
Please stop improving upon yourself, stop changing yourself. And how are you going to change and for what? And who is going to decide what you should be? If you allow somebody else to decide who you should be, it will be an imposition from outside. The priest, the politician, they are trying to impose some ideals on you. And because of those ideals, you cannot be natural, you cannot be simple; you have to carry heavy weights on you. And you are always unnatural, arbitrary, artificial.
You cannot imitate anybody else!
Thomas a Kempis' famous book is IMITATION OF CHRIST - but I have never come across more false a title and more ugly a title. IMITATION OF CHRIST? And the book is respected very much; it is one of the most respected Christian treatises. But the who!e idea is wrong. If you imitate Christ, you will be an imitator only - you will never be a Christ. And to be an imitator is to be a hypocrite.
How can you imitate Christ? He was a totally different man. He never imitated anybody. If he had imitated he would have been loved and respected by the Jews; if he had imitated Moses or Abraham, he would not have been crucified. He NEVER imitated anybody! He simply asserted himself as he was; he respected himself as God had made him - without any imitation. He was an original man, not a carbon copy.
Now, Thomas a Kempis will be a carbon copy; if he succeeds at all, then too he will be a carbon copy - and a carbon copy is ugly. Be the original. When you can be the original, why should you be the carbon copy? Don't imitate Buddha, don't imitate Jesus, don't imitate me - never imitate anybody!
Learn from everywhere, but never imitate. Just be yourself. You have to be only yourself. And there is no way to know who you are beforehand. How will you decide who you are? Unless you go in and see who you are.
So the first thing is not the effort to change - the first thing is the effort to acquaint yourself with your own being: who is residing in you? Look at this guest who has come to you. Your body is a host...
some stranger is residing in the body, some stranger from the beyond has descended in the body.
That is you! Just look, watch, meditate, be aware of it. Drop ALL efforts to change yourself! Put your whole energy into knowing yourself, and out of that knowing comes growth. And that growth will bring your original face. You have to be only yourself. You have to be only that which you already are.
From : Osho Book - Philosophia Perennis Vol-1.
Feel free to Share.
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